A bit of self-reflection
Writing is a thing I do for two reasons. I like the opportunity to spew out my thoughts, then rearrange them into something that can be made sense of. It’s cathartic to dig through the mess in my head and come out the other side with something that has at least a semblance of meaning. Trying to process things without emptying out at least some of the head-gunk is a great way of getting stuck in it, and writing is a way I can do that.
My second reason isn’t really a second reason at all, depending how you think about it. I like people. I like to do meaningful things for them, and to make things that they enjoy. If I can make something that a lot of people can enjoy, so much the better.
Stories mean a lot to me, and are a big part of who I am, some of my earliest memories are of reading How George Lost his Voice, and the Puddle Lane books with my mother, and to this day I am never happier than when I am reading. Not that stories shouldn’t have challenge, or darkness, or even a gut-punch now and then, but to me there is a joy that underpins any story; that it has meaning.
Meaning is a concept I think everyone has struggled with at some point or other. The world is often a chaotic and frightening place, where much appears senseless and beyond our control. Stories are a means of organising chaos, of drawing patterns and inventing or slaying monsters. They are all fantasy in a way, a world in which the author has control over people and events.
This fantasy of control is one reason why it is important not to mistake real life for a story. Stories are lies, made up by liars, in order to abstract things in the real world and invent an order to them. Real life doesn’t have a protagonist, or an antagonist, or a narrative, or a neat ending. Acting as if it does is a recipe for bitterness and resentment.
That doesn’t mean they aren’t useful tools for navigating life. Newtonian physics is basically a lie, but it’s a lie that works well enough as an analogue for reality to have a house not fall down if you build it in accordance with its principles. Equally, whilst Justice is a story that has little bearing on reality, it can be imposed upon it. No bolt of lightning is going to strike down a tyrant to punish them for their misdeeds, It is down to people who believe in Justice that it be done.
Stories like Justice are powerful, and can be used to shape reality. But we must always remember that they are tools, that can be used for good or ill. Contextualising these concepts, grounding them in a rigorous and self-examining way of understanding things is something I believe is deeply, foundationally important.
It is that fervour which ultimately drives me. I want to untangle the messiness in my head, and I want to make things that people will like, but at the core of it all, I feel a deep and intense urge to make tools that can help people understand things.
I began this post with a lie. I did it to build a narrative structure, so that when you reached this part, you would understand what I mean when I say that I write because I feel like it.
Rainbow Samphire 